Last night I had the honor of receiving the “Outstanding Woman Attorney” award from the Washoe County Bar Association and the Northern Nevada Women Lawyers Association.
And, if I’m being completely honest… I’m still trying to process it.
The event itself was incredible. I found myself sitting in a room with people I’ve admired for years—two of the best justices to ever serve on the Nevada Supreme Court, district court judges, managing partners from some of the biggest firms in Nevada, and the General Counsel for University of Nevada, Reno (my alma mater… go Pack). Looking around the room honestly felt a little like a fever dream.
And true to form, I didn’t invite my husband or my family.
Not because I didn’t want them there. I just didn’t really know what the award meant or what the night would turn into. I figured it would be a nice event, maybe a mention, nothing too big.
Then they called my name.
Two women I deeply respect stood up and presented me with the award, and I remember feeling completely taken aback. In that moment, my brain did the most ridiculous thing. It started playing that childhood song: “One of these things is not like the other…”
And of course, in my head, that “one” was me.
Hello, imposter syndrome.
I know I’m not alone in that feeling. In fact, I suspect a lot of us, especially women in our professions, carry it around more often than we admit. You can work hard, build something meaningful, accomplish things you once only hoped for… and somehow there’s still a small voice that says, “Are you sure you belong here?”
To be clear, this isn’t a fishing expedition for praise. I know I’ve worked hard. I know I’ve built something I’m actually extremely proud of. But if I’m being honest about what went through my head last night, and what still lingers today, is this feeling that maybe I could have done more, given more, been more.
That’s just where my brain tends to go when recognition comes my way.
But stepping back from that inner dialogue for a moment, I can say this: it truly is an incredible honor. To be recognized by these organizations, and to be included among such remarkable women in the legal community, means more than I can easily put into words.
I feel incredibly blessed and deeply grateful.
My hope is that I continue to live up to the honor that comes with this recognition. And, maybe one day I’ll learn how to let some of these accolades actually sink in.
Until then, I’ll just keep living in these little “pinch me” moments of getting to giggle like schoolgirls with a supreme court justice for the best state in the country at event for my amazing, fellow attorneys.
